My oldest daughter just quit the local swim club. Interesting words….. and as I reread them I wonder why I’m moved to post in my blog about this event. I have to as this is a loss and not just for my daughter but for the entire family as well. Competitive swimming has been a way of life for the Dunphy family for the last 4 1/2 years and I can’t imagine life without the local club. As this event was unfolding (yes it was a very slow train wreck…), I found myself in the throes of denial, anger, sorrow and grief. They say that we grieve the loss of what we loved but I don’t think that tells the whole story. For me, the grief is more complex as I know I did not love the organization but I did volunteer wholeheartedly in the hopes of making just a little difference. Hindsight is 20/20 and I can say unequivocally that our relationship with the swim club was very much a love / hate relationship.
Anna has been swimming with this club since Fall of 2006 and has reached a measure of success including being nationally ranked and winning medals including gold at a provincial level. So why quit? Because for a 12 year old, swimming was no longer fun. I had to ask myself many times as we went through this process if I wanted her to continue swimming for me or for herself. As parents, we are proud of our child’s accomplishments but at what price? Are we as a society pressuring our children to achieve at ever younger ages? Many professionals think so and this had me pause for a moment. I needed to know if my desire to see Anna swim was greater than her desire to swim. I still don’t know that answer.
When I started this blog entry, I was upset that we would no longer be a part of this organization. Funny how time heals all wounds and perhaps a little too quickly. Day 2 saw me not even caring one way or the other. I have Anna back in the pool and she’s been working hard. We’ll make some decisions in the coming weeks as to where she’ll go from here whether it’s with another small club in town or if we join one further away. The most important part of all this is that Anna is VERY happy with her decision and I can honestly say that this is the happiest I’ve seen her in a very long time. She’ll continue swimming but on her terms in her way and somehow I think her personal successes will be greater than ever.
